Relive the Scariest Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Floats in History - My FrontPager

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Relive the Scariest Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Floats in History

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Forget everything you knew about Thanksgiving. This holiday is actually creepy AF.
Sure, we gather around the television each year to kick off our festivities with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, but has anyone ever realized the beloved tradition actually stars a straight-up terrifying cast of characters? (Read: That floating clown and its terrorizing clown squad right up there.)
So in the spirit of Turkey Day, let's relive some of the most God-awful floats to glide down Broadway across the parade's 92-year history:

Thanks for ruining Pinocchio for all of us, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade circa 1937.

This freaky Bart Simpson float is enough to quit Thanksgiving forever.
Ronald McDonald is never not nightmare-inducing, and the McDonald's mascot in float version is no exception.

Another big fat nope goes to this massive cat creature sailing through the Big Apple.
Sorry, Kermit the Frog. We had to spill the tea on this admittedly regrettable moment of yours.

George Washington and Benjamin Franklin did nothing to deserve this, and neither did we.

A valuable lesson to SeaWorld: Don't enter a float in the parade when a little 'ol documentary called Blackfish all but dismantles your brand a few months prior. Cue the animal rights activists who jumped the barricade... Yikes.

There's something about those beady little pig eyes...

Excuse us, 1929 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, but fish like this weren't featured in Finding Nemo for a reason.

Walter Kelleher/NY Daily News Archive via

And last but not least, whatever this mouse-serpent hybrid is. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

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